Light in Shadows
by Poizen-Ink
Summary: Bella is being held captive by the wolves in La Push. She hopes every day that she will finally be able to die. Her life takes an interesting turn when she is rescued by a knight in a shiny white stetson.
1. Prologue

Author's Note: To all who have read what I have already written of this story I will apologize in advance for being so lax in leaving it for so long. With the renewed drive to come and add more to this story I re-read what I had written before and decided I didn't like the flow it was taking. So I have removed those chapters and I am starting over from scratch. The story will follow the same premise that it did before and character choices that I still stand by will remain the same. My hope is that the writing will be a bit better and that the story just 'flows' better. To any and all new readers; thanks for stopping by and I hope you enjoy my story.

Prologue:

My name is Bella Swan, I am not your average teenager, and I live in a world of constant darkness, pain, and torture. Coming from Forks I can assume that most of the town residents would say the same thing, in a town under a constant cover of clouds it can be hard to remember that eventually the sun will shine again. I can assure you that this is not the case for me. I fear that I will never again feel the warmth of the sun on my face or the softness of dry grass between my toes. I live in a steel box with only a damp and tainted mattress for furniture. The only thing I feel anymore is cold and numb, both mentally and physically.

Those who live in Forks and go about their day to day lives have no idea how truly lucky they are in their constant state of ignorance. They never have to know that the scary stories they are told as children are actually true. It pains me to think about how much I wish I were still like them. Can you imagine finding out one day that vampires and werewolves are real? The world we live in is truly a nightmare and they are the monsters who rule it, humans are nothing more than pieces in a game that they can manipulate in any way they like.

I came to find out about vampires first. They are a nasty creature to be sure, but can they really be blamed for following their true nature? From the moment a vampire is created their existence becomes about only one thing… blood. From the moment they wake from their change to the moment that they finally have peace, everything they do, every action they take is for only that single outcome. Some enjoy the hunt more than others, preferring to seduce their prey into giving up their lives instead of taking it by force. Perhaps these few are going a little above the natural call and challenging themselves for a bit of fun but it still all comes down to blood.

Wolves on the other hand are completely evil. One would think that they would be the good guys; after all they are the only creatures on earth strong enough to kill a vampire. What no one ever stops to think about is that wolves are ruled by their emotions and not a natural pull. They are revered among their tribe as almost god like, the great protectors of the innocent. The only problem is they have a massively twisted idea of what one must do to fall under the blanket protection that comes with being an innocent.

I was nearly killed by a vampire and 'saved' by wolves. I watched as they tried and failed to save my father before tearing the vampire into far too many pieces to count. I must have passed out at some point because the next thing I knew I was bathed in darkness. Now the only time I see light is if one of them turns on a lantern in the corner of the metal box.

In their minds I am a whore, and it is my fault that my father died. They have decided that I am as guilty as the 'leech' and in this situation they are judge, jury, and executioner. I am tortured, used, abused, and beaten multiple times a day. My body is theirs to do with as they please, with one exception… Death.

No matter how far they push my body every day, no matter how many times they have made me bleed, I always seem to wake up to another round of agony. Death is now the only thing I crave. I want nothing more than to leave this world and be with my father again. I don't know how long I have been with them but I do know that before too much more time passes I will find a way to die.


	2. Another Day in Hell

Chapter One: Another Day In Hell

At this point I have lost track of exactly how long I have been held captive in this steel cage of hell. I can tell you how many times I have been tortured and abused by the sadistic mutts. I never know if its day or night but I do know that most times when I am awake I am being hurt in some way or another.

At this exact moment in time I am again bathed in darkness and cold but I can tell that I'm not alone. I can sense when one of them is with me every time, every hair on my body stands on end and the heat they give off warms up the room to an extent. Based on the temperature of the room right now I can tell that there is more than one with me and that this is going to be a decidedly awful upcoming span of time.

It didn't matter who the mutt is torturing me on any given day, none was gentler than the other or generally rougher, with the exception of Jacob Black. Jacob and I had been friends of a sort when we were children and I would visit with my father in the summer. After I moved here I had thought that we were going to be close again but after only a few short months he became distant. On the odd occasions that I would still see him, when Charlie would visit with his father, he would alternate between glaring at me and looking at me like he wanted to rip all my clothes off. Now I am never allowed clothing and whenever he comes to the room he is sadistic and psychopathic in his treatment of me.

The mutts in the room with me right now are so quiet I can almost bring myself to believe that they really aren't there. There is a lamp in the left corner of my torture chamber but it is almost never lit, only when they are planning something particularly awful. I don't know if they turn it on because they want me to see what they are doing, or if they want to be able to see for themselves and feed off my reactions. My gut tells me it is likely a mix of both with strong leanings to the latter.

I had been here for a few days the first time I remember the light being turned on. I was shocked to see not only three mutts but also a woman with a scratched up face. I later came to learn that she is the 'mate' of the alpha. I was relieved for a moment when I saw her; surely she would ensure that I wasn't going to be hurt. No women could watch the torture and rape I was enduring. She had to be there to rescue me.

I was very very wrong. This woman was even more sadistic than them. She introduced them to one of their favorite forms of torture, Electric clamps.

The clamps on my nipples were painful as hell but I didn't get to the point of feeling like I was being ripped apart until she attached one to my clitoris. The teeth in the clamp cut right through the delicate tissue but I didn't know real pain until she turned it on. I'm sure that I passed out from the pain but the torture went on and on and with every painful volt her laugh filled the room. I learned not to show my pain. The more that I would scream the more they would amp up the voltage. They all got off even harder as they caused me even more pain. It always seemed to end sooner when I would stay stoic in my reactions. On the inside I screamed and writhed and begged for an end that would never seem to come.

That was the first time that I prayed for death. It was not however, the last time.

I can hear them breathing now and know that the scarce hope I had that I was imagining their presence was gone. The feeling a rough hand gliding up my leg sent shivers down my spine. Paul. He is the only one who likes to start off gentle and sweet, but it doesn't stay that way for long.

"Are you getting wet for me whore? Are your juices flowing out of you just thinking about getting another big dick?"

He licked the shell of my ear and probed the inside of my ear with his tongue while moving his hand down to the fold between my legs. I knew that he would find that I was in fact wet, by this time I was used to the betrayal of my body. I don't like what they do to me, I hate it with every fiber of my insignificant being yet for some reason my body responds to them. Only fueling the fire of their hate and belief that I am truly the whore they think I am. Maybe they are right. If my body reacts it must be on some level that I enjoy what they do to me. That is just all the more reason to wish for my quick death, for an end to the torture.

"Mmm, such a little whore, wet and warm waiting to be filled up."

He pushed me down on the small damp mattress and shoved my legs apart. A scream tore through my mind as he shoved four fingers into my wet opening and bent them just a little scratching on the way out. On an on he pounded with his hand hard as though he were punching me with every motion forward. The pain was intense and I wanted nothing more than to beg for him to stop, and end the torture. I felt the mattress dip behind me and as I opened my mouth to gasp in pain it was filled with the hard member of the other presence in the room.

"Suck it bitch, and don't even think of biting me again or the pain you feel will make everything up to now feel gentle!"

Jacob. He was the only one I had ever summoned the courage to bite. He was raping my mouth one day and I wanted to badly to throw up to get him out but there was no food to accompany it. I bit down with all of my force. He beat me bloody that day. He accused me of being just like my beloved leeches, using my teeth as a tool. I just wanted him to stop.

Paul removed his fingers from my throbbing vagina; a tiny sigh of relief escaped me only to be replaced by the first scream to enter the silence of my room in a very long time. The very last bit of my innocence had just been stolen from me dry and unprepared as Paul slammed his hard member into my anus. I could feel the blood smoothing the entry, giving him the littlest bit of lubrication as Jacob continued to pound my mouth. That was the last thing I remembered before succumbing to the pain and passing out.

Mystery POV

"Stupid fucking piece of shit good for nothing car!" Four hours, I had only been on the road for four hours when the piece of shit rental sputtered and died on the side of the road in the middle of Bum Fuck Nowhere, Washington. Adding insult to injury is the fact that the whole thing happened surrounded by humans so I can't even run.

A Good Samaritan who couldn't stop eye fucking me and whose panties grew wetter by the second offered to call me a tow and wait until the truck arrived. If there weren't so many people around I would drain the harpy and make a run for it. I would be in Canada before anyone would find the body.

"Shouldn't be too much longer now, the best mechanic in town is on his way, but he has to come from the rez."

I give her a curt smile as I consider draining her anyway, witnesses be damned. It isn't like they would ever be able to catch me.

"They say all Indians are drunks and deadbeats, but I don't mind ours. They are even kind of sexy if you are into redskins"

"I prefer red eyes." I add 'racist bitch' silently in my head.

"Here he is now. My name is Jessica by the way. Jessica Stanley. If you have to stay in town for a while look me up. I'm sure we could have a great time together" as she winks at me I can smell her panties get just a little bit damper. If I was capable I would have thrown up.

Before the driver even got out of his car I could smell the wet dog on him. Just great, now I have to deal with a wolf too!

Not for the first time I am exceptionally happy that I don't carry a scent and he won't be able to sense that I am a vampire. I'm not scared, I know I could take him in a fight, but there are so many witnesses and I'm not hungry enough to drain all these humans. It would be an inconvenience and an awful waste of the sweet nectar.

Riding in the car next to him I am amused to find that the smell of dog is slightly overpowered by the sweet scent of sex and blood. Never would have pegged a wolf, protector of the innocent, as a blood and pain type.

He pulls up in front of the shop and my attention is drawn to this little red shed in the corner. The faint scent lingering on him is radiating out of that box, along with the almost imperceptible sound of moaning. Not good erotic moaning, but painful tear filled moans. My Spidey senses are telling me something is very wrong here.

Without noticing I'm running at full speed I rip the door off its hinges and am confronted with one of the most shocking visions I have seen in my whole life. A tiny slip of a girl is lying on a blood soaked mattress, cut up and caked in blood and grime, dried tears making streaks on her face.

Without thinking I scoop her up into my arms and bolt into the surrounding forest as fast as I can. My previous amused thoughts of the kinky saint are all gone. The girl cradled in my arms is living, breathing, bleeding proof of the monster among the saints. He will pay, without even knowing her I can promise I will make him pay. Right now though I need to get her home, and make sure she is ok. The Major is going to flip his shit for sure.

AUTHORS NOTE: I would just like to say I am in no way a racist, and if I offended anyone with my comments I apologise.


	3. If It Could, My Heart Would Break

**A/N: Just wanted to say a huge thank you to everyone who read, reviewed, followed, and Favorited this story. I really appreciate it. Truth be told it just upped my motivation to get this chapter out to you so keep the reviews coming, I love them, and you all too!**

Jasper POV

I was in the bedroom of the little cabin I share with my brother and his wife reading a book when I was overcome with the most intense pain I have ever felt. If it was possible I'm sure it would have taken my breath away. On instinct, likely left over from my time as a human, I crouched over hoping to alleviate some of the pain tearing through me.

"Jasper," My brother's wife called from another area of the cabin. "Peter just sent me a message. He will be home in less than a minute. He wanted us to know that he isn't alone"

In the blink of a human eye we were both outside and crouched into defensive positions. The pain that tore through my body only moments before is all making sense now. He must have been attacked. As his sire we shared a stronger connection than most, I can feel his pain and emotion far more clearly than anyone I have ever encountered.

Peter is an excellent fighter, second only to me, the vampire who trained him in the Southern Wars. If he was warning us that he was not alone it could only mean that he was injured and in need of our help. He came into view at the edge of the tree line moving very slowly for someone being pursued. Comprehension dawned on me as I fell to me knees with another wave of mind numbing pain, and my eyes connected with the limp form he was cradling gently in his arms.

"Jasper, what's…?" She drew in an unneeded gasp and fell silent as she too noticed the near dead human girl in her husband's arms. "What did you do?" Her obvious disappointment in the man she loved so much was clouding her beautiful features.

My 'family' survives on the blood of the animals that live in the woods surrounding our home. Some would find this diet hard to maintain but for us it has become second nature. Peter has adopted the diet to please his mate, who he would do anything to make happy. She has never fed on humans. When she woke to this life she refused to hunt them, saying it was unfair that someone should have to die just so she could live. It took us far to long to figure out how to satiate her burning thirst. Peter was never so happy when he could finally find his love the blood she so desired and promised then and there to always follow the diet too.

My decision to adopt the diet was just as hard fought but for a completely different reason. When you can feel the pain and emotions of the person you are killing, when you can feel the very moment that they realize their death is inevitable and give up, you realize just how much of a monster you really are. I knew that it was natural instinct for me to kill my prey but I still starved myself constantly to keep from feeling them. Feeding from animals is much better. I still feel their pain, but they are so low on the food chain it is nearly insignificant. I just happen to be the predator that got to them first.

I can feel the pain of this human, whom I have never even touched, more clearly than any human or animal I have ever fed from. More clearly than Peter, who is also in a great deal of mental anguish right now. The emotions I am able to pick up from him through the all consuming clarity of his human are those similar to what a vampire suffers when they start a kill but are unable to finish.

"Calm yourself. He didn't do anything. There is no venom in her veins, she isn't burning at all. Furthermore, look into his eyes, golden with not a hint of red."

"What the hell happened?"

"It's a long story Love."

The two of them just stared at each other. I know from personal experience that this could go on for a while. Moving into the leadership role I am so familiar with I decided it was time to take control of the situation.

"It's a good thing that we have all the time in the world then, start talking Peter."

"Yes Major, we have time. Can you say the same thing about her though" he was looking down at his human with so much compassion and love I wanted to take her from him. "Listen very carefully; do you hear how slowly that heart is beating? The time for talking is not now."

"You know I hate to suggest this but we could always change her."

Peter looked into the eyes of his wife and smiled very sadly. "No Love, not without a sacrifice. I know that is something you would never be able to do.

I cleared my throat unnecessarily but it had the desired effect when they turned to me. "If we have no other choice she will be changed, sacrifices be damned. Let's all try and concentrate on trying to avoid it shall we?."

Bella POV

I keep drifting in and out, but in those rare moments when I am conscious I can tell that the wolves have upped their game. I am no longer merely cold, I am now absolutely freezing. Gone also is the relative comfort I took in the damp mattress. I would give a limb to have that instead of the cold stone I can feel on both sides of my body.

I can hear them speaking but can only make out bits of what they are saying to each other. I can only pray that they have enough decency left in them to not violate me when I am in this position, not that I wouldn't put it past them. I feel like I can tell how they think now, and in their minds the excitement might make me up.

I feel dizzy and weak; I can tell that I am on death's door. My hope is that when I do finally fade away the smile I feel is on my face as well. I want them to know that I won, that everything they put me through did not make me fear this moment. I welcome this moment; I get to die on my terms.

In an instant, as quick as a flash, the hardness is gone and I am blanketed in something so soft I can only think of clouds. I have made it to the clouds. Even through all of the hell, and the pain, and the torture, I have risen up and will again be able to be with my father. Will he still love me? Will he be able to forgive me for being the reason he is dead? What if I only get to see him long enough for him to look at me in disgust and tell me I'm in the wrong place?

A growl brings me back to the moment, a fierce bone shattering growl. I can hear him clearly now. I want to sob when I realize that I'm still in Hell, where only the Mutts growl. "Get her cleaned up. Get something for the pain too. I have to get out of here" His voice was strong and commanding, as though he was the alpha, but I know it isn't Sam, his voice is much different, and he only ever growls when he is about to cum.

"Where are you going to go?" She has the voice of an angel, a mix of chiming bells and singing birds.

"Maybe go mangle a few dogs?" Another voice, I feel as though I have heard it before but I can't place it. He sounds like he laughs a lot, even with the obvious seriousness in it now.

"Believe me, the dogs will die, painfully, but she can't be left right now. I will just be in the woods. I need some release, and relief." Another sound rings through the room, perhaps the opening and shutting of a door?

"I will go to the hospital in town. I can get her some medications as well as some IVs. She looks like she barely eats; she needs some form of nourishment." My angel speaks so softly but so firmly. I wish I sounded just like her.

"I really don't think it's a good idea to be poking her and making her bleed Love. Not in this house."

"Peter look at her, she is already covered in blood and nobody made a single move. She is safe here. If we don't do something fast you getting her away from the dogs is pointless, they will die anyway!"

My angels words are ringing through my head, she is safe here, getting her away from the dogs. Someone saved me? The laughing man got me out? I can't understand how he could have done it. The wolves are strong and fierce creatures, nobody can beat them. Something else she said is niggling at me too, covered in blood and nobody made a move. I'm with vampires, again I am at the mercy of supernatural creatures. I have experience with vampires though. I know that they will make my death quick and relatively painless.

"Go then Love, but be quick."

"I will, I love you." I can hear them kiss goodbye and a shocking jolt of envy runs through me. I will never have that kind of love, I once thought I did but was very very wrong.

I can hear the laughing one working his way around the room, doors are opening and closing and water is being run. Again almost instantly, he is back and tending to my many wounds. I thought it would hurt like the dickens but somehow he is instantly freezing my skin before he cleans and bandages it. Do vampires have magical powers?

Even with the gentle and careful steps he was taking, I felt a crippling fear every time he touched me that it would soon turn and he would hurt me like the wolves did.

The sound of the door opening stopped my heart; this is how it starts with Paul. He is always really gentle then a friend comes in and everything turns to the dark and twisted.

"Go be with the Major, he is going to need some calming down I think." My angel is back; with her I know I'm safe. I don't know how or why I have so much trust for her, I just do. "Do not give me that look Peter Whitlock, we are safe here. Now Go" her voice never raised yet even I could tell that this soft spoken woman meant business and to defy her would be foolish.

"You've had it bad honey." We are the only ones in the room so I know she is talking to me. "I had it bad once too. That's why I know just how safe you are right now. Those two would never let anything bad happen to a woman. The Major saved me. He didn't make it in time for my human life to be saved but he did get to me none the less. When I woke up from the change Peter was there and since then I have had a near perfect existence. You have a lot waiting for you too when you wake up. You have the most amazing thing in the world waiting for you to wake up.

Near perfect existence? Nothing like that could possibly be waiting for me. I don't deserve it, but this woman, my angel, she makes me want to wake up anyway. I don't have many prospects to have any kind of life at all really.

As my eyes open, I am blinded by light, it's been so long that I've seen anything brighter than the light provided by the lantern. Looking toward where I heard the voice I am met with a vision so beautiful that I change my mind and decide this must be Heaven after all.

"Welcome home honey, I promise you will be safe here." A smile spreads across her full lips and her eyes sparkle with a mix of sadness and joy. "I'm Rosalie by the way, Rosalie Whitlock."


	4. Buffy Was A Lie

Chapter Three: Buffy Was A Lie

* * *

><p>Bella POV<p>

I had been with them for three weeks when I was finally healed, well healed enough that I again resembled a human being. However, being all new and shiny on the outside does nothing to change how truly damaged and ugly I am on the inside.

The wolves broke me. I don't know if that was their true intention, as I don't expect that they thought I would ever get away, but the fact is I'm broken. I don't feel things the same way that I used to. When I look into the sun, instead of warming my skin, or making me feel hopeful, it burns me. The darkness is my friend now. The shadows, and the monsters that hide in them, are my only comforts.

It scares me that I find comfort in monsters now. I should be running and trying to get away from them as fast as I can. I stay in this place though; I stay within the safe walls of this 'small cabin' as they call it and wait for them to kill me.

I will admit to being very confused as to why they haven't killed me yet. I would think the scent of my blood, often spilling out of open wounds, would be very tempting, yet they resist. I suspect that they are just trying to let me recover some of my strength. What fun is a kill that doesn't fight back?

Between the three of them I never get more than a moment alone. My angel is the one I am most comfortable with. She doesn't really try with me; she is just there, a comfort in a strange way. The Chipper one is nice but I feel like he is trying to push me to feel better. I want to slap him a lot of the time. It is the one they call Major who makes me the most uncomfortable. He has never spoken more than two words to me, but he never leaves the room. I get an eerie feeling that he is even watching me while I sleep. Watching, it's all he really does. Whenever I get the courage to sneak a look at him he is glaring at me as though he is a little boy and I just told him Santa Clause isn't real.

"Sweetie, are you ready to talk yet" Chippy asks this question about four times a day. I honestly feel like talking just to get him off my back. "Come on Darlin' you must have some questions at least."

I won't lie and say that I don't actually have questions. I have lots of them. Granted I only ever really knew the one vampire but these three defy all I thought I knew. Perhaps they aren't really vampires after all.

"Are you vampires?" my voice comes out full of gravel from going unused for so long.

I am a little put off that that don't seem at all shocked that I am asking the question. My guess is that they have lived long enough that either they have an excellent poker face or nothing really shocks them anymore.

"Very observant sweetie, yes we are vampires."

"You don't act like it." If Chippy wants me to talk then this is what we will talk about. No more being kept in the dark about the Supernatural creatures that seem to control my life.

The wolves never told me anything, only ever speaking of the fact that I am a whore for Vampires. The only other vampire I have known never told me he was a vampire, I found out his 'secret' when I came home to him killing Charlie.

The Major, whom I have kindly styled Jack, snorts and speaks his first real words to me. "Oh? And how is it that a vampire acts?"

His address to me is derisive and sarcastic and I am again filled with an urge to slap the pretty little smirk off his pretty little face.

"Wait Major, I have a little deal for her. Tell you what sweetie, you can ask us all the questions you want but, for each question you ask we get to ask one too."

I know where he is going with this and I suddenly find that I have a big decision to make. He has been itching to find out about the wolves, as well finding out what I want to do about 'IT' although I have no ever loving clue what 'IT' is. If I agree to this little deal I am going to have to open up to them completely. That isn't something I really want to do.

"Can we set some ground rules for boundaries?" Maybe I can get the answers I want without giving them too much information.

"Sorry Darlin', ground rules are question for question, if you really don't want to answer something **_we _**won't force you." And the award for non-subtlety goes to Chippy.

"Okay, deal." Ever feel like you just made a deal with the devil? I'm pretty sure I just did.

"What is your name?" Angel's question is easy enough yet probably one of the hardest I can think of to answer. Bella Swan is dead, she was a sweet and innocent girl who could never imagine the horror that is everyday life.

"My name is… Isabella" I always hated when people called me that, now it seems fitting.

"Isabella What?"

"Sorry Chippy, the deal was question for question. That means it's my turn. Why don't you live in a cemetery?"

"Gross! They are full of dead people."

"Newsflash Angel. You guys _are_ dead people."

"Well yeah, but not like ugly creepy corpse dead people"

"Why did you call me Chippy?"

"Well, I didn't know your names, so I made them up." I wonder if they will be mad when they find out how I have styled them. I doubt Chippy or Angel would but Jack is another story.

"What did you name us?"

"Well, since you were with me the whole time in the beginning, and I was pretty sure I was dead, I figured you were my guardian angel."

"So you started calling me Angel? That's sweet, I think I really like that. What about Peter? You called him Chippy."

"Short for Captain Chipper." All three of them laugh at that.

"That is so annoyingly true." Angel kisses Chippy on the cheek.

"It's even better 'cause even she knows you rank below me." Jack looks smug and only slightly amused.

"So what about Jasper Darlin', what do you call our fearless leader?"

"Umm… I just call him Jasper."

"Lie. What do you call me really?"

"Jack." Please don't ask why, please don't ask why.

"Why?"

"Major Jack Ass." I expect him to hit the roof any minute, especially when you take into consideration that Chippy is laughing hysterically.

"Isabella, you don't need to look so scared. I think it's funny, even if I didn't you still wouldn't need to be afraid. You are very safe here with us."

Jack smiled at me before moving away to the other side of the room again. For the tiniest of moments I had the feeling that he doesn't completely hate me, but he is completely disconnected again. He is such an enigma. I have never seen anyone slip so quickly from amused to indifferent. The few times that he has gone out 'hunting' with Chippy he has looked downright murderous. This thought reminds me of my previous line of questioning.

"How can you go outside in the day without bursting into flames?"

"Are you joking?"

"No. Everyone knows that Vampires can't go out in the sun, they sleep all day, then drink blood and plot the death of the slayer all night."

"Oh Darlin'," Chippy could barely get the words out from the laughter. "T.V. isn't real life. We can go out in the sun all we like, it actually feels nice. As for sleeping all day, we don't sleep, we don't need it. And there is no such person as a slayer. Truth is the only thing that can kill us is fire, or wolves."

"So Buffy was a lie?" I have based everything I know on that show.

"Yeah Sweetie, Buffy was a lie."

I could feel the air get thicker as the mood shifted from amused to serious. The tough questions were about to start coming and to tell the truth I still don't know if I am ready to answer them. I trust these three in some very unusual way. Even before Jack told me I am safe here, I knew it was the truth on some subconscious level. I don't know if they need to know everything that went on with The Pack though. It might change the way they think about me. I don't know if I would be able to make it if they agreed with everything the wolves told me and continued on with the torture.

"How do you know about vampires Isabella?" Jack took one step away from the wall and moves infinitesimally closer to me.

"I knew one. He killed my father." Perhaps if I keep my answers short and to the point I won't have to delve too much into the details.

"Is that how you came to be with the werewolves?" another small step toward me.

"Yes, they came in when the vampire was about to turn on me. They heard a bit of his taunting and decided I needed to pay for being a vampire whore. I was the reason my father was dead."

They told me that all the time. That if I hadn't been such a whore my father would still be alive. They didn't have to tell me that though. From the moment I walked into my kitchen and saw Charlie lying on the floor I knew that I was the reason he was dead. It was a good thing that he was going to kill me; I deserved it for bringing him into our lives.

"They told you that?" another small step closer.

"It's the truth."

"It isn't the truth Isabella. The fact that they told you that is only one of the many unforgiveable things they did to you. Do you want to talk about what happened while you were with them?"

"Am I allowed to say no?" he had moved so close he was standing right in front of me. He kneeled down so he was at eye level and rested on hard cold hand on top of mine.

"No one here is going to force you to do anything you don't want to do. What do you want to do Isabella?"

"I want to spend some time trying to forget it. I am sick of thinking about it all the time, I really don't want to rehash it all again with you."

"You don't have to talk about it Isabella, but I don't know that forgetting it will be all the easy." He looks me clear in the eyes and then looks down to my abdomen. Suddenly I remember all those weird things they had always said. Angel had said something about not letting 'them' die, and she told me I had so much to wake up to. Chippy and Jack talk a lot about 'IT' and what I am going to do. Like a five thousand ton boulder it hits me right in the gut. I'm Pregnant.

"How do you know? How did you all know?" how is this even possible? There is no way this could have happened.

"Vampires have amazing hearing. We can hear the heartbeat." I don't really care how they know, I want to know how, I don't understand how.

"Darlin', you need to think about what all this means. If the wolves find out about this they will try to find you."

"How would the wolves find out? You said I was safe here." If they can somehow find out where I am I need to leave. I cannot let them do this to me again.

"From what we can figure out, they know when one of them comes into the world. As soon as the baby is born they will feel a connection to it and you will be in danger."

So I guess when it comes down to it I do need to share with them a little after all, bare minimum sharing. "Don't worry it isn't the wolves. I wasn't with them at the right time for that. You wanted answers, so maybe it's time I tell you the real story about how I know about Vampires. His name was James; I was in love with him.

* * *

><p>AN: OK so first of all yes I realize I am playing with pairing in a way that may annoy some people. It is all for a good reason though. Second sorry this update took so long, I have been without a computer so had to sneak this in at my mom's place. One more thing, for the most part when we are in a Bella POV she will be referring to the trio of awesomeness by their nicknames.

Go ahead and type in that review now.


	5. Coming Out of the Darkness

Coming Out of the Darkness

Isabella POV

All three of them are staring at me; they are waiting for me to continue. If I tell them the story about James, the story of how I got my father killed, will they put me out? Send me away for playing in a world I shouldn't have been playing in?

I really did think that I was in love with him; I know now that it was the idea of him that I loved. He was wonderful to me, made me feel beautiful and wanted. Nobody had ever made me feel like that before. When I lived with Renee I always felt like I was in the way. I knew she loved me, in the whole she is my mother so she has to love me kind of way, but I always felt that if I wasn't around she would feel happier, have more freedom to spend time with her many admirers. That was why I made the decision to move back to Forks to be with Charlie. It was this decision, one made with the best of intentions, which ultimately led to his death.

Things were comfortable with Charlie, and I knew he was happy to have me there with him, but mostly we just co-existed. He went to work all day, and then came home to have dinner and sit with a beer and the television in the evening. I went to school or work, and then came home to make dinner and spend the evening with a book and the television in the background.

Everything with James had happened so quickly. It had been a quiet Saturday night at the store; I was reading, and waiting for closing time, and then he walked in and locked eyes with me. He was so different from anyone I had ever seen, impossibly beautiful. The fact that his hair was far too long and his clothing far too dirty didn't seem to bother me. I was entranced.

We didn't even speak beyond the usual did you find everything you need and please come again. I was still thinking about his strange and impossible beauty when I closed up the store and turn to find him leaning nonchalantly against the hood of my beat up old truck.

He looked at me from the top of my head to the tips of my toes, and the only way I could describe the trail his eyes made would be as a caress. He was touching me with his eyes as though they were really his hands.

We never had conversations that even came close to anything deep and meaningful, but he was always around, and when he was around his eyes were always on me. He would tell me how beautiful I was and I would scoff and brush off his remarks red faced with embarrassment.

It would not be an exaggeration to say that my presence in Forks was barely noticeable. I had no real friends. At school I was ignored by the girls and unnoticed by the boys. I had no social skills or graces. When I was with James I was noticed. He made me feel like more than a shadow.

It was only mere days before I time together became a time of intimacy, at the time I would have characterized it as love making. I know the truth of it now. He was playing with me, playing with his food. I was the whore who opened her legs the second that someone paid her a little attention, and when he was done playing his game it was time to go in for the kill.

He started with Charlie before I had even come home from work. Charlie was nothing but the appetizer leading up to the main course. Coming home that day I was already upset, having not seen James for three weeks I was feeling alone and abandoned. Walking in the front door what was left of my heart shattered watching the last of his life leave my father's eyes.

Shame fills me every time I think of this. I know if I tell these vampires who for some reason decided to help me that they would see me for what I truly am. Maybe they would even send me back to the pack.

"Who is James sweetie? Is he a boy you were dating?" Angel has confusion written clearly on her face.

"No Angel, he was a vampire I was dating," a low growl filled the room from over where Jack was standing. "Although, I am pretty sure dating is stretching it now that I think about it, but we were intimate many times."

They all looked at each other and seemed to be having a silent conversation, facial expressions changes, body language became stiff and rigid, and anger was clearly printed all over Jack's face. I can't really blame them for being angry though; they had just discovered this 'poor girl' that they have saved really was just a dirty vampire whore.

Jasper POV

Her emotions were all over the place, but none of them were happy, the most prominent being shame. From the moment she told us that she was in love with this James person her whole emotional signature was filled with overwhelming disgust and shame. When she said that he was a vampire a growl erupted from me before I had a chance to suppress it, I was not going to think about its meaning right now.

"Although, I am pretty sure dating is stretching it now that I think about it, but we were intimate many times." Murder flashed through my mind and hate fuelled my body to run, far and fast.

"Don't Major, she isn't done yet." Peter was speaking at a volume that only Rose and I could hear.

Rosalie moved slightly closer to Bella's side, compassion filled her as she took in the shell of broken human that sat on the sofa in the center of the cabins living room.

"Isabella, do you mean to tell us that you think that the child you carry was fathered by a vampire?"

The idea of it was impossible, our bodies ceased to function as they did when we were human. If it were possible I am sure that Rosalie would have found some way, any way at all possible to ensure that she and Peter were able to have a child.

"I don't think, I know."

"Sweetie, I'm sorry but it isn't possible, a vampire cannot have a child" sorrow flowed from Rosalie as she said this. The only thing she had ever wanted was a child, Peter had even considered for some time turning an infant so Rosalie could become a mother. The only thing that stopped him was the knowledge that we would all burn if he did.

"I had suspicions that I was pregnant before the wolves took me to the metal shack of hell. I was late. They always told me I was a dirty vampire whore," another growl erupts from deep in my chest; it is echoed around the room by both Rosalie and Peter. "They never, you know, in me, only my mouth or on me. To prove just how dirty I am, whores like it all over them."

From the moment that I returned from destroying the woods around my cabin I have been unable to leave the small shattered human taking sanctuary within our walls. There was something about her that I wanted, no that I NEEDED to protect. She has clearly been through hell, that she needed help was obvious. What I still cannot comprehend is why I instantly felt the most intense and possessive need to protect and shelter her.

The wolves are going to pay for what they have put her through; there will be no ifs, ands, or buts about that. Now is not the time for it though, she needs to heal. Her soul is crushing with pain. Peter has assured us that the life growing inside her would heal her. The chance of the wolves feeling a pull to the child is high, but it's a chance that we have to take to make sure that she is safe.

Rosalie is so bonded to this poor girl that no matter how either Peter or I felt there would be no way we would tell her that she couldn't stay. Rosalie could not be saved; the same will not be the case for Isabella.

The news of the life growing inside of her has brought the smallest sliver of hope and happiness to her, so small I don't know if she is even aware of it. I am though, and I can promise that as long as she is here, as long as she is with me I will do everything to ensure that the only thing she ever feels is joy hope and happiness. If only I knew why that was so important to me.

AUTHORS NOTE: First of all I know that it has been more than a year since I have updated, I went through some pretty heavy shit last year and it took away my drive to write. But I am back and I am back for good. Please bear with me as the creative juices get going again and I'm sure in no time things will get back on track.

ABOUT THE STORY: yes there will still be some darkness, but Bella will heal. I do feel as though she has been through enough already that in my power as this stories author I have decided that she will have a slightly accelerated human pregnancy. There will be none of the drama of a hybrid pregnancy from the books.


	6. The Unknown Power of a Jellybean

The Unknown Power of a Jellybean

Bella POV

It has been two weeks since the conversation in the living room. In those two weeks a little bit of the cold has started to ease. At least when I am awake; as soon as I fall asleep though I am plummeted right back into hell. I fight sleep; I fight with every ounce of strength I still possess, anything not to go back to that cold metal box.

It is so real when it happens. I can feel them with me again. The pain returns, and their cruel laughter and taunting sinks right into my soul. Even though I am free from that place I know that as soon I once again lose my never ending fight with sleep I will be returned right back into their clutches.

My Angel is always there with me though, she is always there to wake me from the hell and wipe my tears that fall for hours after I return. Without her I would feel hopeless. Everything that I need is provided by her. She makes sure that I eat, that I am taking my vitamins, and reminds me of the jellybean growing inside of me; the life that is going to bring me back to life.

I no longer wish for death. I don't know really that I want to live either, but for the moment Jelly is keeping me going.

They don't believe me about Jelly, they think for sure that she, and yes I have decided that Jelly is a girl, is going to be part wolf. I know she isn't, but they believe that James getting me pregnant is impossible. None of them has said this to me outright, but I can tell. They haven't shot it down completely, the standard placation when I insist that Jelly is not a puppy is 'I guess we'll know for sure soon'.

They haven't asked me anything else about my time with the mutts. I am happy for that, if I had to talk about it, to rehash it outside of my dreams I would never have a release from it.

Chippy is around a lot too. I guess when you are a vampire you have nothing but time on your hands and nothing to do with that time. Especially when you have a pathetic human around who is cramping your style. I don't really mind that he is always around though; he has a touch of laughter in his voice that for a fleeting moment makes me want to laugh too.

Jack is a different story entirely. With Angel I feel safe, with Chippy I feel protected, and with Jack I feel nothing. He is there all the time as well, but most often he is looking at me as though my mere presence makes him angry. In truth he kind of scares me, I don't know what it is that I have done, but for some reason just my being here makes him mad. He hasn't even spoken to me since we had that conversation two weeks ago.

Jelly is starting to move in my belly and send little kicks to let me know that she is in there. This has thrown all of us for a loop. After the conversation one of the first things I wanted to know was the date. I needed to know for sure that the baby was James'. It has been 7 weeks since I came home to find the man I thought I was in love with killing my father. Adding to the five weeks that I have been in this cabin finally safe from my hell I know that I was held captive for two weeks. That means that at the most I am only 12 weeks pregnant, far too early to be feeling movement, or to have the rather sizeable bump protruding from my abdomen. The one thing that can be said for sure is that Jelly is most definitely not human. No human foetus would grow this fast.

"What are you thinking about so hard Sweetie?" looking over at Angel I see that she has the softest of smiles on her face. She is almost ethereal in her beauty. I cannot imagine a woman in the world who is more beautiful than her.

"Everything. But, mostly Jelly."

Angel gently puts her cold granite hand on my belly and Jellybean immediately kicks the spot to let us know that she feels it. I think Jelly and Angel are going to be very close; hers is the only other touch that Jelly responds to.

"I still feel so lost Angel, I fall asleep and I'm back in that hell. I can't imagine ever being happy again. Then I feel her move and for just a second I feel light again. I feel normal for one fleeting second, and then it all goes away. What if she comes and I'm still lost? What if she comes and I can't love her?"

My deepest fear has just been spoken out loud. She was not conceived in love, she was conceived as some sort of sick pre meal foreplay by a vampire; would that make me resent her when she arrived? I know that it could be worse. She could have come into existence during those two weeks of never ending torture; I know I wouldn't ever be able to love one of 'them'.

I want to be able to love Jelly. Just the thought of her being born and me not feeling anything for her makes me more scared than I have ever been in my life.

Jelly starts bouncing around in my belly like she is jumping on a trampoline. The cramps she is causing take my breath away and rock me with immense pain. Kicks and flips and a dizzying frenzy continue on and on in a never ending cycle until finally I let out an ear piercing scream and everything goes black.

Jasper POV

The tension in the cabin has been unbearable for the last two weeks. Isabella is a constant stream of painful and gut wrenching emotions. I can hardly bear to be in the same room with her and yet whenever I attempt to leave something pulls me back. Hunting is the only time I am truly able to relieve myself of the emotions that threaten to drown me every minute of the day. Even that reprieve isn't for very long. I try to extend my trips to the forest surrounding my little cabin, but panic seizes me whenever I go too far. If I can't still hear what is going on, and feel some of the emotions radiating out I feel a pain deep into my chest forcing me to go back.

Most of the time, today as an example, Peter forces me out of the cabin insisting that it is time to hunt. I used to Hunt every day, I have always enjoyed the sport of it. With Isabella in the house and my unknown ability to leave her I have been unable to force myself out more than every three or four days.

"Major, we will be back in less than an hour, chill the fuck out and do your thing. Nothing is going to happen to Isabella. You will be back to her as soon as you have calmed down a little"

I want to tell Peter to fuck off, that he has no idea what he is talking about, but it is clear as day that as soon as I am away from her the only thing I want is to go back. He knows what is going on, the reason behind my intense need to protect this human girl. He refuses to divulge the information though. He says that it is one of those things that I need to figure out on my own.

Both he and Rose have been trying to encourage me to talk to the girl, but every time I move even a little bit closer to her she is filled with fear so great that it stops me in my tracks. I know that I am a gruff son of a bitch, but the reason behind her fear is confusing to me. It is confusing to her as well; I can feel her confusion every time she looks at me.

Suddenly I fall to my knees as intense cramps overtake and wrack my body. I feel dizzy and nauseous, both of these sensations are impossible for a vampire to feel, and I know instantly that it is coming from Isabella.

Before Peter has a chance to question anything I am on my feet and running as fast as I can toward the cabin. Her scream could be heard for miles, so loud and full of pain that my ears actually ring. Then suddenly everything is gone, all pain, all emotion, I feel absolutely nothing.

Running into the cabin Isabella is asleep on the sofa with a throw being lovingly adjusted by a very concerned looking Rosalie. The most amazing thing to hit me in that moment is the happiness radiating off Isabella and the sweet little smile on her face as she unconsciously moves one of her hands to her stomach and starts moving it in gentle circles.

Something has happened to be sure. Isabella is never calm or happy when she sleeps. I hate when she sleeps, if she weren't human I would send her so much energy she would never feel the need. Sleep is the hardest times of day in this little cabin. Her pain, fear, shame and total emptiness are too much for me to handle. I feel as though I am in whatever nightmare as she is with her, and try as hard as I might I cannot help from projecting the emotions she is throwing my way.

It is in those times that Peter wants to kill me, as bad as we all feel for Isabella, the feelings I project instantly take Rosalie right back to her own experience with hell. The night that Peter found her was the night that Rosalie lost everything she had ever wanted. Including her life.

"Rose, what the hell happened?"

"I honestly have no idea Major, We were talking about the baby when she started writhing in pain. She screamed so loud that I'm sure they heard it in Canada. Right before she passed out that sweet little smile made its way to her face."

"What were you saying about the baby?"

"She was afraid that she wouldn't be able to love her"

Looking at Isabella sleeping contentedly on the sofa I can feel nothing but happiness and love pouring from her into the room and directed toward her abdomen. She is most definitely not going to have any troubles loving the child that she insists is a girl.

There was very little to do while Isabella was sleeping. Peter had suggested that we return to the hunt as I had not been able to quite satiate my thirst today, but there was no way in hell that I was leaving Isabella right now. I can't put my finger on it but something happened to her today and I don't know if she is safe, or what fresh hell will await us when she awakes.

All three of us snap our heads to the sofa as we hear her begin to wake. She sits up on the sofa stretching her arms above her head. The movement lifts the t-shirt that she was wearing just a little and a small expanse of her expanding belly is exposed. Just for a moment I am filled with a need to run to her and pull her shirt down so no one else can see. She turns to us and her whole face lights up in the most beautiful smile I have ever seen. It reaches all the way to her eyes and brightens the room more than any light or the sun could.

"Good morning," she nods to each of us and stopping at me her smile gets even wider and brighter if that is at all possible. "I'm starving, what do we have to eat?"

"I can cook you something if you like Isabella. Does a steak sound good?" Rosalie has been feeding Isabella since she arrived and if one thing can be said for the human she certainly does appreciate her red meat.

"Isabella? Angel I hate being called Isabella, please call me Bella."


	7. Jellybeans Have Feelings Too

Jellybeans Have Feelings Too

Japer POV

"Ok… Bella it is. Bella, would you like me to cook that steak for you now?" Rosalie was radiating a confusion that I know all three of us were feeling, what the hell is going on here?

"Oh Angel, you know you can't cook to save your life. Actually," Isabella stopped to giggle and nudge Rosalie on the shoulder. "You don't really have a life to save. I should say you know you can't cook to save my life." Another giggle as she moved to the refrigerator and starting pulling out all sorts of god awful smelling food. "I don't really know why you even offered. I always cook my own food"

All three of us stop to share a look of pure confusion. Isabella has never cooked in this house. She sits on the sofa in the living room, lost in thoughts and pain. She only eats when Rose cooks for her and even then she has never asked for it. Meal times are a matter of Rosalie cooking some sort of meat, putting it in front of Isabella and telling her to eat.

"Isabella," A low growl sounds from the petit human standing next to me as Peter says her name. Since when can humans growl? "Sorry, sorry, just up until thirty seconds ago we have all been calling you Isabella. After all it is what you said your name was. Anyway,"

"Can vampires suffer brain damage Jack?" Isabella asks me interrupting Peter.

"Um, I don't think so. Why?"

"Something must have happened to him when you were out hunting. It's the only possible reason he could have for thinking I would ever ask any of you to call me Isabella."

"But you did, right after you finished healing, and we had that talk. We asked you your name and you said Isabella"

"Jack, love, something must have happened to you too. I have no idea what you are talking about, I was never even hurt"

Did she seriously just call me love? What parallel universe did I slip into when we were out hunting? Isabella is looking at all of us like we have grown three heads and lost all brain function in each of them. What happened to her? More importantly how did this happen to her?

Just as peter is opening his mouth to say something to her I send him a look and shake my head so slightly it could only be observed with the enhanced abilities of vampire sight and motioned my head to the large yard leading to the woods outside the cabin.

We slip out while Isabella turns her attention back to preparing her food. She is content, no sadness or pain can be felt from her whatsoever. She passed out from pain, after being her for five weeks with a constant cloud of darkness over her head and woke up happy with memories of events that never happened.

* * *

><p>As we converge into a circle just off the porch we can all hear Isabella as she moves around in the kitchen making up her meal tittering every now and then at something. Everything is normal to her and it is pissing me off, something really fucked up has just taken place.<p>

"Peter, what the fuck is going on here?" I turn to my second in command with an expectant look on my face. The face looking back at me is blank and his emotions unknowing.

"How the hell do you expect me to know?"

"Aren't you the one walking around here all the time with a smirk on your face and a joke about just knowing shit? Fucking know something now. Tell me what the hell is going on with that human!"

"Sure Major, let me just get right on that. You know that isn't how it works," He is feeling exasperated, the undertones of concern for the human and frustration are also present when he continues to speak to me. "If I knew how to make myself just know I would fucking do it. The girl has totally lost her marbles."

"Boys, I have a suggestion." Rose's voice is quiet and easily ignored as she tries to offer something up to us.

"Try to come up with something a little more helpful than the girl has lost her fucking marbles Pete. Like pulling your fucking head out of your ass and finding out why."

"And how do you propose I do that?"

"I said I have a suggestion" again Rosalie is completely ignored.

"I don't know Asshole. How do you know all the other shit? You 'just fucking do' so do it now."

"SHUT THE HELL UP BOTH OF YOU!" The yell from Rosalie is enough to turn both of our heads and set our ears ringing, but a quick look inside tells me the Isabella is still cooking away apparently uncaring or not noticing the meeting outside. "Now like I said, I have a suggestion" Rose says now that she has our attention.

"What's that Babe?" Peter sidles up to her and slips an arm around her waist. Such a suck up.

"We let it go." She says simply

"Let it go?"

"Yes Jasper, let it go. For some reason that we may never know, she is happy right now. Maybe it will last and maybe it won't but right now I think we should enjoy it."

"Rosalie, she remembers things that never happened and doesn't remember things that did. How do we just let that go?"

"Quite easily. Seems like it's the bad things that she isn't remembering. Don't mention any of them and we should be fine. If we play along, Maybe play the question game again, we might be able to get some sense of what is going on."

The woman makes sense. Isabella certainly isn't going to be able to tell us what the hell just happened. Is there really anything wrong with letting her enjoy being happy for a while? If she isn't in any imminent danger and she finally has a reprieve from the pain and the memories should we really try to find a way to take that away from her? The thought of hurting her even unintentionally hurts me in a place where I assume my heart would be.

"It's worth I try I guess." I'm grumbling even as I am acquiescing. It is not in my nature to let questions hang in the air. She may not be in immediate danger now, but it is dangerous to be in any situation without all of the answers. If the wolves come for her right now and she has no memory it could be even worse for her. "For the moment we will let her be. Be on your guard though, we don't know if another shoe is going to drop. Isabella is not to be left alone, at any time."

* * *

><p>As a unit we moved back into the cabin and took seats in the living room where we could all spring into action if needed. I feel antsy. I know it is impossible for a vampire to need to fidget but I feel it happening as the air sizzles with a tense electricity. We are all waiting for something to happen, and the waiting is driving us batty.<p>

The tension is slowly leaking out as Isabella finishes preparing her meal, the smell alone making me want to vomit and open every window in the cabin. I find myself feeling light and calm for the first time in a long time, her happiness has made me happy.

Peter and Rosalie are wrapped around each other on one of the chairs, unable to keep their hands to themselves. I can't help but smile as I watch them. They haven't seemed this close since Isabella arrived. Rosalie loves Isabella already, I can feel it pouring off of her in waves, but this has been a difficult time for her, understandable due to her own past experiences, and she has been distancing herself from Peter. To see them now it feels like none of that ever happened.

Isabella continues to putter around in the kitchen singing to herself softly. I think that I could spend forever watching her, but finally I realize I'm probably being creepy and reach to the table to grab a book. The utter peace in the house makes us all relax and for the first time in five weeks it feels normal.

"Jack," Isabella calls out to me drawing my attention away from my book. The smile on her face and the twinkle in her eye make her beautiful features light up. "I'm having a hard time in here, could you please come help me?"

"How am I supposed to help you? I have no idea how to cook!"

She laughs and I swear there is music in the tones. "Believe me, I know, your last attempt nearly burnt the whole place down" She shivers and then the room is charged with mischief. "I don't want you to cook right now though; I need you to grab something. I can't reach it."

I'm not entirely sure what she is up to but if her mirth and the increase of mischief in her emotions are any indication I can be sure that she is definitely up to something. When I get into the kitchen she points to a jar of pickles on the top shelf of the cupboard. She giggles when I turn to her with a question in my eyes. Generally there is no food in the cabin, but I can tell you for sure that, that is most definitely not where we keep the pickles.

When I reach up to grab them I feel her heat more closely to me than she was previously and before I have a chance to even question it her little hand has reached out and pinched my ass. She pinched my ass! This tiny and easily breakable human has just ventured up to one of the most dangerous vampires to ever walk the earth and she has toyed with death and pinched his ass. Her laughter fills the room when clearly startled I lose my footing when I turn and trip in a way very unbecoming, and previously thought, very impossible for a vampire.

When I look at her and growl menacingly under my breath and she just laughs harder. "Come on Jack, you know you have an ass of steel, can you blame me for trying to cop a bit of a simple vampire objectifying feel? Embrace your hotness." She smirks over her shoulder and walks out of the room.

A Human just made me feel like a piece of meat. A human just made me feel like a piece of meat, and I think I liked it. I still don't know what the hell happened to Isabella but I may be starting to enjoy this new her.

"Bella why the hell did you do that, what has gotten into you?" Peter asked her barely suppressing his own laugh.

"Don't worry Chippy; I was just having some fun with him. I know I can't tell him, I know that he has to figure it out on his own, but is there any harm in trying to help him figure it out sooner?"

Help me to figure out what? I project my confusion to my brother but he just shrugs his shoulders and sends the confusion back. There is something he is hiding though, I can feel an understanding there as well and his cocky smirk is firmly back in place.

* * *

><p>In the few days that have passed since 'Bella' woke up a very peaceful calm has fallen over the house and we have all fallen back into a nice routine.<p>

Isabella trots around the cabin like she has lived here for years and her laughter fills the empty rooms and halls with joy. Rosalie, when not locked in a bedroom with Peter, can be found by her side talking about any number of random things.

Peter is not as attached to Isabella as Rosalie is, but I can tell that he loves her, and he really loves how happy she has made Rose.

Then there is me; I still have a hard time leaving to go hunting, but I don't have to be forced anymore, and I don't have to be escorted anymore. Another good thing is that I can go a bit farther than before; I know she isn't in any pain or any danger, and the weird pull I feel toward her has allowed me a bit more distance.

Today when I hunted it let me go farther than it has since she arrived. I enjoyed the game of the hunt, and came back covered in mud and dried blood. One look at me and Isabella scrunched up her nose and ordered me upstairs and into the shower. The powerful vampire in me is not willing to think about the reasons behind why I blindly followed the orders of a human.

Stepping out of the steamed up bathroom and into my bedroom I am blanketed in her scent. Another thing to change since 'Bella' woke up was the sleeping arrangements. Previously Isabella spent her time sleeping fitfully on the sofa guarded at all times by at least one of us. As soon as 'Bella' arrived I learned that she 'has always' slept in the bed in my room. My nights are now spent listening to her gentle snores and sleep murmurs. These sounds are much more pleasant than the sounds I used to find much louder, coming from the room down the hall.

As I am dressing I can hear them sitting outside on the Patio. Isabella loves the patio; I think if we let her she would have my bed moved out there.

"Angel, do you think we could go shopping today?"

I am immediately panicked at the thought of taking Isabella out of the cabin. Letting her sit out in the yard is one thing. I have allowed it but only if one of us is there with her. I don't want to take the chance that one of the wolves followed Peter or has tracked Isabella's scent and is just waiting for us to slip up with so they can reclaim her. The thought of taking her into town is terrifying. It is so out in the open they could grab her and be gone before we even had a chance to react with all of the humans that would be around

Isabella does not know the lengths we are going to in order to ensure she is safe. She doesn't remember the wolves at all. We still don't know what happened but we do know that this new Isabella has a backbone of steel and no qualms about putting us 'unnecessarily damn protective vamps' in our place. I think she actually scared Peter yesterday when he joked about needing to protect her in the shower and she mentioned removing a certain appendage of his with a chisel and mallet.

"Bella, you have a kitchen full of food, why would you want to go shopping?"

"Considering how often I catch you staring at me Chippy I would have thought you would notice that I am bigger than this palatial 'little cabin' we live in and all the clothes Angel and I bought when I first arrived no longer fit me." I growl lowly in my chest, I don't know if it is because she is calling herself fat or if it is because she said Peter has been staring at her. Neither possibility sits well with me.

It has only been a few days since the change has happened, so understandably we are always a little thrown when Isabella mentions one of her new memories. The hardest part being that we are trying to play along so concessions that we would not normally concede are being made to keep her happy. An example of that being that apparently I am now going to have to let Rosalie take Isabella shopping, Peter and I will be in tow as well though, and nothing the little human can say will change my mind about that. She will need all of the protection we can provide.

"Bella, you are not fat!" Rosalie has a hard time when Isabella puts herself down, maybe a throwback to how she would feel about herself when she was human, or maybe a reaction to how Isabella felt about herself just three days ago. Whatever the reason, it bothers Rosie to no end.

"Ok so I'm not fat, But I am growing at an alarming rate, and I'm only going to be getting bigger. If the clothes I have don't fit me now they definitely won't be getting any bigger. We also need to get furniture."

We had to concede that. The baby 'Jellybean' is growing at an alarming rate, her child is definitely a supernatural being. Which supernatural being I can't be sure.

"Why furniture? We have furniture Pet."

"I mean furniture for the baby Captain Idiot. My god; are all vampires as slow as you? I thought you were supposed to be superior beings."

"Can I get you some lotion for that burn Peter?" I laugh coming to join them on the patio.

Peter mumbles something not worth repeating under his breath but all my attention is focused on Isabella when she turns and presents me with the most dazzling smile. When she smiles at me like that I feel like my heart could beat again. I feel like my insides are turning into melted butter. I never want her to stop, I want her to stay forever and smile at me like that every single day.

I take the emotional temperature as I move to a chair on the patio. Most the time I don't even realize I do this, it is second nature to me. Peter is feeling secretive and a bit giddy, Rosalie is feeling content, and Isabella is cheerful with an undertone of comfort. I am picking up on other emotions too, I can't place where they are coming from and it is bothering me. Someone is feeling smug, accomplished, proud, and happy as hell. The emotions are jumbled together but they are muddled, smaller than the others' somehow. It dawns on my in an instant, in one split second I know where they are coming from, 'Jellybean'. In the same second it took me to figure out where the feelings were coming from I also figured out what it all meant. 'Jellybean' had caused the changes in Isabella somehow. This baby is definitely gifted. Isabella was right, it is impossible, but Isabella was right. The baby is a vampire!

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><p>AN: I hope you all enjoyed the update. I have finally set a course for this story and really know where it is going now so updates should be fairly regular. The only way I can really think to describe it is that this story just wants to be written, and it is constantly popping into my head. The creative juices are definitely flowing. I wanted to say a big thank you for everyone who has taken the time to read, I am flattered and awed by all the reviews, alerts and favorites. You all make me want to write and get this up faster. So thank you, and you are all appreciated.


	8. Oprah Fucking Winfrey

**A/N: I am now back at work after 2 weeks off with a back injury. It is my hope that the updates will continue to roll out quite regularly. I am fortunate enough that my job offers a lot of down time and I have many opportunities to write. I don't think for sure that I am going to be able to update every few days but it is a safe bet it will be at least once a week.**

**Thanks again for all the wonderful reviews. Writing is so much fun when you know that other people are enjoying reading it as much as you are enjoying writing it. I don't think I am going to work it into the story so I will just tell you now that Bella's pregnancy will be double time. So if she is saying she is 12 weeks then imagine she is really 24 weeks. Not too long from now Jellybean is going to make her way into the world and into this story in a very big way.**

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><p><span><strong>Bella POV<strong>

My family, as I have come to think of them, have been acting quite odd for the last week. They walk around as though the floor is covered in eggshells and any little move they make is going to send me into a catatonic state.

They are also constantly watching me, and not in the amusing way they used to do it. When I was first brought here they used to watch my every move. I felt like I was a zoo animal on display or something. 'Ooh, look at the little human, its feeding time.' While it was definitely annoying it had also been rather comical. It had been so long since they themselves were human, that everything I did was foreign and fascinating to them. It was like I was their new favorite television show or something.

The Bella Show started to come to an end as I settled in and we all become more comfortable with one another. The feeling of constantly having someone's eyes on me was starting to go away, with the grand exception of Jack. Whenever he and I would be in a room together I could feel his eyes on me, and I loved it. His gaze was like a gentle caress, and I relished the feel of it. I would often wonder if it would feel the same when he finally touched me for real.

I have known for almost as long as I have been living in this house that Jack is my mate, or rather since I am still a human, that I am his mate. Jack has always been a source of intrigue for me, there was always something about him I couldn't quite figure out. He is very quiet, often brooding, and when he looks at me it is as if he is looking right into my soul, but it was after this discovery that the immediate attraction I felt for him started to make sense.

I made the discovery completely by chance the first time that Jack and Chippy had left to go hunting. My Angel was out of sorts that day; I have her, and her odd behavior to thank for my breakthrough. I suddenly found that now it was I who had become the voyeur in the house as I observed her. She wasn't herself at all; it was like a part of her was missing. At every little sound, some so light that my human ears could not detect them, she would snap her attention to the back door then rub her chest, above her heart, a look of longing on her face.

When I finally asked her if something was wrong she smiled sadly at me and told me that she was missing her mate. I must have looked lost because she then sat down and explained to me all about vampires and their mates. When you are with them you can get lost in them for hours if you don't focus your thoughts on anything or anyone else. When they are separated from you it is like a part of you is missing and the bond, kind of like a little tether, pulls more and more the longer they are apart. You only find your relief when they return to you.

"So you meet your mate and boom! That's it? From that moment on you love them and cannot be away from them?" I had to ask her. It's a scary thought for a girl who was brought up to believe that you needed to play the field long and hard. My mother settled down with Charlie way to early and had always told me to date for as long as I could. Her theory was that you should never fall for the first few men who come along; at that point you are more in love with the thought of being in love than you ever could be with them.

"Well yes and no." I remember her saying as she tried to explain things to me "The signs are there right from the get go, the pulling and such, but you don't fall instantly in love. There needs to be an acceptance, once that happens the rest tends to fall into place. Most vampires don't actually meet their mates. It is only a few of us that get to be so lucky."

I concentrated on what she was telling me, it was beautiful really. Those vampires lucky enough to find their mates weren't losing anything; the pulling was like a direct link to your other half. As long as they feel the pull they can be assured that their mate is safe and would return to them soon. I was so lost in that train of thought, and comparing it to my own sad love life, that I was truly shocked and awed to realize that at that very moment there was a slight pulling in my chest too. I reached my hand up to see if I could somehow feel it and Angel laughed softly.

"I know it's fucked up right? I have to say I am quite impressed with you Bella. Peter told me that you would figure it out quickly but I never anticipated it would be this quickly."

I was going to question her then but knew it would be silly to do so. Clearly I was feeling a mating pull, as I'm a human that would only happen if I was a mate to a vampire. Figuring out who wasn't difficult either, unless Angel and Chippy were looking to add a third, it could only be Jack or James.

"Would you still feel the pull if the vampire you were mated to is dead?"

I heard Angel let out a low growl and tried to supress a giggle, it sounded out of place in such a serious conversation but I couldn't help it, vampires sure did growl a lot. After shooting me a quick venomous look over my giggle Angel fairly spat at me that 'he' wasn't my mate. It was the first and only time that I have ever been afraid of her. She changed back into My Angel almost as quickly and gently explained that if James were my mate he never would have been able to hurt me, or my father.

So it was with mild shock and confusion that I came to realize and accept that the handsome brooding man who never spoke to me, but whose eyes followed my every move, was my mate. Chippy warned me that I couldn't tell Jack, he needed to figure it out on his own or he would never truly believe it or come to accept it.

I have since felt myself slowly falling in deep like with him. I can't say love because I don't know anything about him really, we still don't talk much, but when he does talk my insides melt. His voice is fluid and melodic, added to his soul reading gaze and I can't imagine not having a forever with him.

Everything is different now. I can't think too much about the mate thing because all three of them have gone bat crap crazy, it's like 'Invasion of the Pod Vampires' around here, for some unknown reason they developed completely different personalities seemingly overnight.

Jack is the worst though; he glares at me a lot, like I have done something wrong. When I tried playing around with him to bring back the vampire I was falling in love with it ended badly. He almost fell onto the floor and has since only spoken around me but never really to me. The only thing I can think is that it must be connected to Jelly. My bump is very obvious, and maybe if he was starting to develop feelings for me they have disappeared with the physical evidence of my pregnancy.

It was always my fear that when he did discover we were mates he would rebuff me due to her. It would be a lot to ask him to take on me and my child, especially when my child was fathered by a vampire I slept with after knowing him for only a week. He must have decided that I am a total slut and he wants nothing to do with me. Chippy told me that if you don't accept your mate the bond is never fully formed, so he would have no problem living without me. I will be happy to have Jelly, and I will love her always, no matter what, but a life with no Jack will be a very sad life indeed.

Angel has told me that I will always have a home here with them, and I want nothing more than to be able to spend forever with all three of the beautiful vampires I have fallen in love with, but if Jack turns from me I won't be able to stay. It would be too damn hard. I can only hope that his recent distaste for me is connected to something else. Living the rest of my life as only half of the whole is an unbearable thought.

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><p>Things are finally starting to return to something of the norm. Today we are going shopping, not something I generally look forward to, but just getting out of the house is enough to have me bouncing on the balls of my feet while everyone else gets ready. The fact that I really do need clothes that don't make me look like whale is another good reason to go out and blow some of my hard earned money.<p>

"Hurry the hell up you guys, there is something seriously wrong with the fact that the human is the first person ready!" I am so anxious to leave that I find it annoying they are taking so long. Considering the fact that they are vampires who can move at a speed rivaling a formula one car there is no reason I should be the first person ready.

"Chill out Bella, the clothes are not going to disappear if it takes us longer to get there." Even though Angel is chastising me I can see her trying not to smile as she takes in my obvious excitement.

I wish it was just she and I going, but for some reason Jack has insisted that everyone go. At first he said that Angel would just go into town and get everything for me, something about how it wasn't safe for me there. I asked how it was safe for me to go when I arrived but it isn't safe now. They did that weird looking at each other and talking too low for me to hear thing before hesitantly agreeing.

"It's already taken too damn long. Get a bloody move on!" I have been in this house for far too long. It has been a week since the aliens invaded my vampires, and in that week I have not had a moment alone, or been let out further than the deck. They are way too overprotective; there is no one and nothing out to get me in this supposed 'big bad world'.

"The sun is still too bright Isabella, it isn't time to go yet." The few times that Jack has spoken directly to me he has still called me Isabella. For some reason, I am assuming it has to do with the mate thing, I love the way it sounds coming out of his mouth.

"The sun will be outside and your sparkly asses will be inside, your excuse is moot. Now lets get on the damn road" there is a small chance that I stomped my foot when I finished speaking, but the part of me that is about to become a mother refuses to admit I am acting like a child.

"She kinda has a point there Major" Chippy said with his ever present chuckle

"No she doesn't, we go when I say we go" I glared at him as I imagined him stomping his foot too.

"Please Jack," I try switching things up from angry human to over emotional pregnant woman who cries at the drop of the hat. "All I want is new clothes," insert gut wrenching sob "and a crib for Jelly." Look at all of them for effect as the tears begin to roll "what if she comes and I don't have a crib?" another sob and a hiccough "I would have to put her in a drawer or something, why do you want Jelly to sleep in the drawer Jack?" And end it by looking at him like he just killed your puppy.

"Dammit, fine, we go. Get in the car." He snapped at me clearly annoyed

"Yes! Hurry your asses up; I'll meet you out there."

I was out the door and running to the car as fast as I could. When they came out Chippy was nearly rolling over laughing and Jack looked as though he wanted to kill me, or worse my fictional puppy. Angel just looked impressed. Yes I manipulated him. Now ask me if I care. Nope sorry, the answer is no. I wanted to go shopping and now we are. Put simply, I won!

Our first stop was the furniture store. I found a really beautiful cedar log crib with matching change table and rocking chair. I looked handmade, and it was so beautiful it would fit in at the 'cabin' perfectly. I had to convince myself to get it, not because I didn't want it, but because it was way spendy. The sheer beauty, and convenient forgetting that in total it would cost just over half of my savings, decided it for me. Turned out it was a moot point anyway. As I was pulling out my card to pay the sales associate Jack threw a black American express on the counter. I think the man's eyes actually bugged out of his head. I, on the other hand, was less than pleased.

"I have money you know, I don't need you guys to buy stuff for me."

"Isabella we're vampires" Jack said quietly so the guy groping his credit card wouldn't hear.

"Jack, I'm a human. Now that we are done declaring our species would you mind telling me your point?" I didn't care if I was falling in love with him; the man was starting to wear on my last nerve.

"My point is that you've probably been saving your money for a few months, we've been accumulating money for over a hundred and fifty years."

"Again I will ask, what is your point?"

"Bella, we have more money than Oprah Fucking Winfrey, and that bitch owns the fucking world. Let us buy you shit."

I relented and let them buy the furniture before; I was unwilling to have a massive pissing contest with them in the middle of the store. It was a pissing contest that I would probably have ended up losing anyway. As I was licking my wounds an evil plot began to develop in my mind. If they were going to insist on paying for all my 'shit' then I was going to make sure they paid out their ass.

It was with that in mind I led us to our current destination, Black Label Maternity. The most ridiculously expensive short term wear clothing store in existence. The type of women who shop in these places are also the type of women who would spend three hundred dollars on a onesie their kid would only wear a few times, and would likely take an explosive shit in. It is also the store where the three 'We have more money than Oprah Fucking Winfrey' vampires were going to drop a butt load of cash on clothes I'm probably never going to wear.

"Welcome to BLM, is there anything I can help you with?" a way to skinny and way too fake blonde sales associate came up to us. Fake Barbie, as I have decided to dub her, is looking at us like we don't belong here. "there is a Thyme Maternity at the other end of the mall. The selection is very_ affordable_." I kind of want to smack the ugly little sneer off her make-up caked face.

"Start a dressing room." Chippy fairly growled, throwing the black card at her.

She rushes away back to the counter clutching the card tightly in her hands. I wonder what the odds are that she is going to call the eight-hundred number to find out if the card is even real. Angel seems to have decided to ignore that little episode and leads me over to the t-shirts. T-shirts which cost more than a studio apartment in Manhattan I might add.

I can see fake Barbie tittering to her coworkers and wish that I had vampire hearing so I knew what they were saying. It isn't pleasant whatever it is. Fake Barbie has a look on her face that reminds me a lot of Jessica Stanley, a girl I went to school with who invented the concept of frenemies.

She begins walking toward us again; the same sick smile on her face as she eyes us all head to toe. Completely ignoring Angel and I she saunters over swaying her barely there hips a little too much for my liking. I don't know what Angel is thinking but I'm about to knock a bitch out if this skank doesn't stop eye fucking my man. Well my soon to be man if he ever figures it out. Either way I'll kill her.

I may not be an empath like Jack claims to be, but even I can feel the lust pouring off Fake Barbie, and if she makes a single move toward Jack I will literally end her life. I have a vampire growing inside of me right now, which has to give me a little bit of added strength right? I should be able to draw some vamp power and break the skanky twig into two, it only seems right.

"Hi," she said it on the end of a breath so it kind of fades out. I don't know if she thinks she sounds sexy, but I just want to laugh.

"So we started a room for your um… Friend, is there anything else I can do for you?" she is looking at Jack with what I imagine are her come fuck me eyes and barely acknowledges the rest of us as she pushes her quite fake tits in his face. I want to stab the implant out and make her eat the filling.

"Actually FB," I move closer to Jack, emitting as much kiss my ass I can towards her. "We'll take one of every shirt and pant in a medium and a few of the evening gowns as well. You never know right?" I may want to fuck this chick up but I can't forget my revenge against the trio from richtown either.

"Seriously Bella, one of everything?" Oh you will pay for it Captain Chipper, you will pay for damn sure.

"Yes, one of everything," I bat my eyelashes at him innocently "You have more Money than Oprah Fucking Winfrey Chippy. Buy me shit. Oh, and while you're at it, make sure they deliver." I turn around and strut away.

Angel stops me before we exit the store, laughter apparent in her eyes after seeing me knock her mate down a few pegs. "FB? I know you like your nicknames Bella, what does that one mean?"

I make eye contact with the bitch handling my order as I answer Angel. "Fake Barbie, or Fucking Bitch. Take your pick." Then I do walk out of the store trailed by my trio's laughter.

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><p><strong>AN 2: I had so much fun writing this chapter. I really like spunky, jealous Bella. I had much more planned to go here but it seemed wrong not to end it right there. So the Q&A will be in the next chapter. Thanks for reading, and thanks in advance for the awesome reviews ;)**


	9. Tough Talks and Hard Knocks

**BELLA POV**

Jellybean, who is doing a fantastic impression of a jumping bean on my bladder pulls me out of sleep, a quick look at the little red 2:45 on the alarm clock makes me groan. I was having a fabulous dream about handing Fake Barbie her ass. Quite literally, I had just finished ripping it off and handing it to her. I wonder if I can convince Angel to take me back to the shop so I can try it for real. That would seriously make being pulled out of my blissful dream totally worth it.

Supressing a groan, I pull the covers off of my walrus sized body, and begin to struggle into a seated position. I shiver at the current of electricity that runs through my veins whenever Jack is near, and peek through a curtain of my hair trying to locate him in the dark room. He is sitting in a chair in the corner, quietly strumming a guitar. I don't know if he is playing a song or just strumming notes, but whatever it is, it is the most beautiful thing I have ever heard. The quiet of the room combined with the slowness of the chords makes the whole things so haunting that I want to cry. His hands almost ghost over the strings, barely touching them. For the moment I let myself imagine him running his hands over my body the same way he is the strings.

All thoughts of my previous need for the bathroom leave me as I watch him play that guitar. He has a talent beyond anything I have ever heard. It is almost like he is making love to the guitar, like he is making love to me through the music. His caress of the beautiful instrument gentle enough to cause shivers to run along my body as I imagine the wood of the guitar is my skin.

Slowly the song comes to an end and I lose my ability to breathe. He is looking straight at me, for the first time I feel like I can see so deep into his soul that all his secrets are just a fingertip away, and I get lost in those amazing golden eyes. I wonder what he was thinking about as he was playing that sad and soulful song. Even more I wonder what he is thinking about now that we are so lost in each other's gaze.

"That was…" before I have a chance to finish telling him how beautiful his playing was he is up and out of the room, the door firmly slammed behind him. Letting out a loud sigh I move out of the bed and continue on my previous track to the bathroom. I really thought we were having a moment.

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><p>Thanks in part to a rather sizeable fee, the delivery of the furniture was rushed, and by the next afternoon Angel and I were sitting on the floor laughing as we made an attempt to put it together. Thus far we were having a much easier time of it than the boys had had. Sometimes a woman's brain just worked so much better.<p>

Jack and Chippy were a complete train wreck from the word go. They had immediately opened all of the boxes and mixed the pieces up sorting them by size and shape. Now I'm sure this process may have worked great if they did it one set at a time, mixing three different sets together however, well let's just say it was rather comical as they tried to figure out what went where.

We watched them struggle for hours, not even making an attempt to muffle our laughter. Chippy was clearly frustrated; if he were human I could imagine that he would be completely red from his anger. Jack spent a lot of the time mumbling under his breath about stupid instructions and pieces of shit furniture that don't go together.

When they decided that they would use the power drill and adopt the theory of 'if it doesn't fit, make it' Angel jumped up and told them to go hunt. "Let us do it before you end up fucking this up beyond hope of repair and have to go buy Bella a new set"

Pleased to be released from their duties of 'man's work' they both jumped up faster than my eyes could comprehend. Chippy kissed her on the cheek and ran out of the room in a manner similar to the road runner. I really do think that I even saw a puff of smoke follow him. Jack had a rather cocky look on his face and smirked at us.

"Good luck," he has said projecting superiority and frustration "That fucking thing is impossible; we'll send it back and get a new one when ya'll fail too."

Failure is not something we were worried about. Once we had the pieces for all three sets back in their rightful places, things started taking shape fairly easily. We are now putting the finishing touches on the crib and laughing at the ease with which we put it together.

"Do you think we should tell them that we struggled? You know, to soothe their sensitive egos?" I asked Angel while she picked up the little bits of plastic left on the floor

"No." She laughed standing up more gracefully than I could ever hope to "I really don't. I think their s_ensitive egos_ could use a little bruising._ Man's work_ my sparkly white ass!" she helped me stand up, seeing as how my large stomach would have made the task long and arduous had I done it on my own. "Never trust one of them to ever do anything that requires following instructions."

"Are they really that bad?" if it is anything like the furniture the damage could be seriously extensive.

"Worse," she said laughing and shaking her head "Jasper once tried to do his own oil change, forgot to put new oil in, and ended up seizing his engine." I moved over to sit on the bed as Angel pulled over the box for the changing table. Just standing for too long now a days takes all of my energy.

"Jesus…"

"Oh yeah, I had to do a complete overhaul. He isn't allowed to play with the cars anymore. I don't want the poor things tortured like that ever again."

"I love how you think cars have feelings"

"For all we know there might be a Lightning McQueen out there, trembling on his rims, at the thought of Jasper giving him an oil change." The mental image makes me laugh

"I seriously doubt that Angel."

"Hey if vampires are real it stands to reason that Lightning McQueen could be real too."

"Lightning McQueen is a drawing."

"Vampires are supposed to be just a myth." Her logic is flawed but in a crazy messed up way I can sort of see what she means.

"Touché."

The flat top of the changing table in her hands falls to the floor completely forgotten as she breaks out into childlike giggles. I have no idea what I said that was funny enough to cause such a reaction. My only theory is that she might be a little loco.

"What is so bloody funny?"

"I can't believe you caved so easily. I love having you around. I finally get to win once in a while." Her beautiful golden eyes, such a contrast from the red I spent so much time gazing into on my nights with James, sparkled with mirth as she once again picked up the piece she had earlier dropped.

"You're fucking around with me?" I put on a mask of mock hurt as I turn to glare at her "Didn't your mom teach you it isn't nice to play with your food?"

I tried really hard to stay serious and show her how annoying I found her, but at my last words her giggled evolved into full out, uproarious laughter. It's a really a good thing she doesn't need to breathe. It's also a really good thing that she can't pee, based on how hard she is laughing she would be in danger of pissing her pants.

It isn't long before Angel is nearly done putting together the table. She worked faster without my help. I don't think I am as much of a hindrance as the boys but, without me next to her she can work at what they call 'vampire speed'. Vampire speed makes me dizzy as fuck.

In order to avoid losing my lunch, I spend my time looking around the room and planning where I want everything to go. I know that this is technically Jack's room but I feel no guilt whatsoever for taking it over. I am his mate. Eventually he will realize this. Hopefully when he does, he will accept me and begin to return the feelings that I have for him. When that happens, I know for sure that there will be no problem at all with me taking over his room. We will probably spend a lot of time in here anyway, if you get my drift.

"How long did it take for you and Chippy to accept each other?"

Angel laughs again as she gives me a knowing look and comes over to sit next to me on the bed, almost as quickly as her laughter started though it drifted away. When I looked at her she had a sad and resigned look on her beautiful face. I have been trying so hard not to ask too many questions. I really need to know though, I need to know that there are other stories where things start off slow and finally work out the right way in the end. I need to know that Jack isn't the only vampire who has been completely oblivious.

"We knew right away if that's what you mean, and I _know_ that _is_ what you mean. As for acceptance, that took a lot longer. I went through some hard times with my change." She moves a little closer to me on the bed and I grab her hand in mine. My Angel clearly needs some support right now. "Please don't get me wrong Bella, I am happy now, and I love Peter very much, but when I woke from the change, I wanted to kill him. I hated him! Passionately!"

"Why?" I breathed the words out softly. I have never in my life seen anyone more in love than Angel and Chippy.

"He changed me. It was necessary yes, but in that one decision he has ripped away all of my dreams. It was completely unforgivable." She is talking to me but one look at her tells me that she is light years away reliving her memories as she tells me this story. "When I was human I was incredibly insecure. I covered up my insecurities behind a shell of vanity and selfishness, deep down though the thing I really wanted was simply normality. I wanted a family. I wanted to have babies and spend the rest of my life being a mommy. Peter took all that away from me."

Silence fills the room like a great gaping chasm. Her eyes are glistening with tears that will never fall as her shoulders shake in silent sobs. I want so much to be able to make all of her pain go away, she has helped me so much I want to be able to help her too. For once, as though sensing how important this moment is, my belly doesn't hinder me as I move myself to sit on her lap. She wraps her arms around me, cradling me like the baby that she will never have, and takes a deep unneeded breath. Just when I am sure that she is not going to continue she hugs me a little tighter and starts to speak again.

"I had fallen in love with the perfect man. Well, he was perfect on the outside anyway. He came from a very affluent family with strong community ties. Daddy adored him, and told me constantly how lucky I was to have caught his eye." She snorts in a very unladylike manner "I had known him for barely two weeks when he proposed. I readily accepted. After all, he was offering me everything I wanted. I was a fool. After we had married his whole demeanor changed. He went from a perfectly charming slightly aloof man to a tightly coiled barely controlled beast. The smallest infraction on my part always resulted in the severest of punishments."

My heart broke to hear Angel speak of the treatment she received from her human husband. I was raised that a woman should be loved and revered above all else by her husband. Even after walking away from him, and taking his daughter for no reason other than spite, Charlie never spoke a bad against my mother. It is just something that isn't done.

"Before long he had started to 'share' me with his friends. It was the most humiliating thing I have ever endured. I felt dirty all the time, there was nothing I could do, there were not enough baths in the world that let me fell clean again. It was during our fifth month of marriage that I fell pregnant." She chokes back against another silent sob. It doesn't matter that she is unable to cry. I am crying enough for the both of us.

"Angel, I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that. If I could go back and change it for you I would. If I could take away all your pain right now I would do it in a heartbeat." I run my hands through her soft hair and she again tightens the grip that she has on me.

"I thought that Royce would be pleased. He wasn't. He told me that I would have to go see one of those doctors and 'deal with it'. I was horrified that he would ever suggest such a thing. I refused to follow his orders. He had never taken too kindly to my defiance, and this time was no different. There was no way to know for sure that he had fathered the child I carried, due to my forced relations with his friends, this was an uncertainty he couldn't allow. He informed me in a deadly calm voice that since I was defying him he was going to have to take matters into his own hands." Gradually, through the telling of her story, every emotion left her. She had completely shut down and now her voice was a chilling monotone.

"Angel, this is too hard for you. You don't have to keep going." I didn't want her to hurt anymore. All I want is to hug her back and take away all of her pain. Let her know that I love her and will be here for her for always.

"No, you need to know this. You need to know that it will all get better." I'm still so heartbroken from her lack of emotions that I can barely muster up curiosity about what that means.

"Go slowly then, and stop if you need to. I hate that this is hurting you so much." The only indication she had hears me is an infinitesimal nod of her head.

"He beat me to within an inch of my life." The violence of my sobbing stopped her as she tightened her hold on me. Whether it was for her benefit or mine I don't know. Probably both "I don't know if it was his intention to kill me, it would have been very hard for him to explain my death. I do know that he intended to kill the child. Perhaps his temper got away from him. I do believe that I would have died; I think that one fact ultimately made it easier to forgive Peter. He heard my cries, and likely smelled all the blood and busted into my house like a knight in shining cowboy boots." This is not hard for me to believe and a rush of love for Chippy fills me.

"The same Knight in shining cowboy boots that saved me?" I already know the answer. It seems to me that Chippy has a thing for damsels in distress.

Angel smiles and nods very softly before continuing with her tale. "I regret that he killed Royce that night. Not because I loved Royce and wanted him spared, but because when I woke from the burning, I wanted nothing more than to kill him myself. To make him feel as dirty as he made me feel. Peter assures me that between him and Jasper my husband got everything he deserved."

"Good" I can't think of anything else to say to sum up just how much I hope they made the fucker hurt.

"I felt the pull instantly when I woke. I knew he was important, but I hated him. He took my life and my dreams from me. I would never be a mother. I would never sit on a porch with my husband watching our grandchildren play in the yard." I can hear the deadness start to recede from her voice. I never thought I would be so happy to hear the heartbreaking sadness in her voice. "I was very antagonistic to him; I gave him a very hard time. I was annoyed to have him anywhere near me, and scared to have him go away. He was my killer and my savior. I don't know exactly when it happened but eventually, very slowly over time, I found myself loving him."

"I can feel your love for him, even now when he isn't here, its palpable." It was. Their love was stronger than anything I had ever seen.

"There isn't anything I wouldn't do for him now. There isn't anything he wouldn't do to make me smile and see me happy. Over time I was able to see that a forever with him was more than I ever deserved, and I needed to hold onto him and never let him go."

"You really are an Angel, I can see now how appropriate that name is for you." My very perfect, unbelievably strong Angel"

"Maybe a fallen one." She tries to move away from me and I clutch onto her as tightly as I can. This woman is stronger than she will ever know; she has survived so much and come out on the other side fierce and powerful.

I use both of my hands to force her face me and look me in the eye. She needs to look at me when I say what I am going to say. She needs to see the truth and pride in my eyes. She needs to know how perfect she is.

"When Chippy brought me here I was terrified. My father was just killed by my lover; a lover who I had just learned was a mythical creature. Massively enormous dogs had just killed my lover, ready to kill me as well until Chippy came flying in. He ran the whole way here, every second he held me I was sure he was taking me to my death. Then I saw you. He set me down and there you stood, you were this beautiful golden perfect angel, in that moment I knew I was safe. I knew that you were my guardian angel. You brought me back my joy."

"Bella," her eyes were shining again as she barely whispered my name, terrified that I have somehow managed to make her hurt more I quickly interrupt her.

"I love you Angel. You are my light, a shining golden sun warming up my life." I lose the ability to breathe as Rosalie crushes me to her in the strongest most emotional hug of my life. "Human… can't… Breathe…baby…ouch…" she loosens her grip but doesn't let me go.

I don't know how long we sat there holding onto each other. It could have been minutes it could have been hours. At one point her hand moved onto my belly and started stroking it in cool gentle circles. She was mourning a life she would never have and for a moment I felt guilty for being able to have that life. A vampire got me pregnant; it just wasn't fair that she would never be able to say the same thing.

"I may not be able to be a mother but I promise you Bella I will be the best Auntie ever to little Jelly."

"I don't want you to be her Auntie Angel." I could feel her pulling away from me and immediately tightened my grip realizing that what I said could be misconstrued. "You are going to be so much more than that to her." She smiled her beautiful smile and melted back into our embrace.

"You know I was thinking that I will eventually have to pick out a real name for Jelly, and I think I have landed on the perfect one." I said to her breaking the peaceful silence in the room. I reached up to whisper it in her ear and again I saw her eyes shine, this time happily.

"I love you Bella, more than you could possibly know"

"I love you too Rosalie." The use of her given name brought another smile to her face and we returned to our embrace.

This is how we were found when Jack and Chippy returned from their hunt. Two girls emotionally drained from a devastating conversation, clinging to one another to bring back a small sense of the normalcy that was present when they left.

"What did we miss?" Chippy asked Jack concern written all over his face.

"I need to hunt." Angel said gently extricating me from her lap and placing me back on the bed. She walked out of the room standing just a little less tall than she normally does. A type of silent communication takes place between Jack and Chippy before Chippy turns and quickly follows her.

Without any words spoken Jack resumes the position Angel was just in and I bury my head in his chest, and cry for all the things that Angel has had to deal with, and all the things that she has lost.

* * *

><p>When Chippy and Angel return to the house she really seems like she is herself again. I am so happy to see the return of my beautiful Angel that I purposefully ignore the I-just-got-laid smile that is plastered on Chippy's face. They come in the house as though what happened upstairs had never occurred, and resume the norm of our day to day.<p>

Angel sits next to me on the love seat with all of her polish and her file and goes to work on my disgusting man hands. Jack is sitting in an armchair by the fire reading a dusty old book, likely a history of the Civil War. Chippy is bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet like a child waiting to receive his surprise. There is something seriously wrong in that man's head.

"Jack," he snaps his head toward me with a mild look of annoyance on his perfectly beautiful face. He really hates the nickname. I love it, and he lives up to it two fold. He is a Jack ass in his behavior and a total donkey in his stupidity about this whole mate thing. "Why are you always reading about the Civil War? I would think that since you lived through the bloody thing you would know all there was to know."

"He's looking for his name, trying to find out if they mention the youngest major in history." Chippy snorts at Jack and moves to take a seat on the sofa, sprawling his entire frame along its length. I can't be sure but I feel like I hear him say something about letting the games begin. He is definitely an odd duck.

"I could care less if they mention my name." he looks around the room at us as though we are all below him and returns his attention to his book. "The historical inaccuracies are astounding though, it's like a comedy of errors. It's like porn for normal people"

We all three of us look at him like he has just grown another head, I debate telling him he is delusional when Chippy beats me to the punch.

"You've been watching all the wrong porn my brother. The only error in porn would be if she flinches when taking the cum shot" Chippy bursts into laughter as I fight the bile rising in my throat.

Based on the low growls beside me and in front of me, neither his mate nor his brother is very pleased with his words. A quick glance at Jack tells me that he is actually restraining himself from slapping Chippy. It isn't so much that I am offended by his words, they were just so crass! However, after the invasion of the pod people, I don't mind it. It's like normal. Like he was before.

"I'm bored." I whine to the room, hoping that we can do something, hell, anything to make this night a little more interesting and kill what's left of the tension in the air from my conversation with Angel this afternoon.

"What do you expect us to do about that Isabella?" Jack clearly sends off annoyed vibes but I barely notice them with the shiver that runs through my body when he calls me Isabella. When did it happen that I stopped hating being called that?

"Let's play a game or something"

"Like Xbox?" Chippy asks getting way to excited again, he is already moving to the entertainment center to set it up.

"NO!" Angel and I yell at him in unison. Jack and Chippy can spend days playing that bloody machine, completely ignoring anyone and anything else. The point here is to be less bored, not bored and ignored.

Chippy pouts and moves back to the couch like the scolded child that he is "Well then what are we supposed to do?" Yup, he is definitely a little child.

"Why don't we do that question thing we did when I first got here. That was kinda fun, and now that the shock has worn off a bit I have so many more questions."

They share a look and mutter too low for me to hear. I really hate when they do that. Add the fact that they are surreptitiously sneaking looks at me then whispering again it leaves no doubt in my mind they are talking about me.

"Do you three maybe want to speak up so the whole class can hear?" Chippy and Angel have the decency to look guilty, Jack just smirks at me.

"Perhaps the whole class doesn't need to hear Isabella." Knowing that he can feel what I am feeling I send him a huge wave of annoyance and anger. Why is he such a fucking jackass? And why does the fact that he is a jackass seem to turn me on?

"Question for question?" Chippy has a cat that ate the canary look on his face. He has something evil planned. But I don't really care. I want some answers. More than anything though I want Jack to start figuring some if this shit out.

"Question for question" I agree. "I'm going first. Why don't you three hunt people?"

"It's different for all of us. I never could, I didn't want to kill people, and out of respect for my feelings Peter adopted my diet" Why does she doubt that she is an angel? This answer is further proof of her goodness.

"What about you Jack?" she said their reasons were different after all and I would love to know what his reasoning was

"Uh uh Darlin' it's our turn." His smirk is devilish and frankly a little intimidating but I could care less. He called me Darlin'. "Were you happy before coming here?"

"Yes, of course I was." That wasn't really true though, "Mostly. I guess I just didn't really know that I was unhappy. Life was just the way it was." He just nods to me to ask my next question. He had zero reaction whatsoever to my answer.

"Why don't you hunt humans Jack?"

"There is no sport to it. Humans are pathetic; Vampires are created to be the perfect killing machine. You humans make it to easy, a little charm, a little dazzle and you come to us willingly. Most times a human won't even fight when they are being drained because they are so enamored of the monster that is sucking their life force that they want it. They crave it. They give it willingly. An animal fears us, instinctually they know we are a predator higher on the chain than them and they flee, carnivores will fight, but it is all instinct, they are actually smart enough to fight for their lives. It is a game. It's fun. Humans are boring, and pathetic, and unworthy of my time."

He was sending me a message loud and clear. Not only about James and the obvious whore he thinks I am. No, I am worse than a whore, I'm a pathetic human who spread her legs for the first vampire who looked her way. The message was about him too. No matter what, he would never lower himself to be with me. Mate or not I will never be with him, I am not good enough, I'm just a human.

With tears threatening to fall any minute I get up from the love seat and walk up to _his _bedroom, I need to be away from them, I need to get away from him. I grab a bag, and begin to fill it with as many of the new clothes as I can. I need to get away from him. He hates me. He would never accept me. I take one last sad glance at the room and the amazing furniture just assembled today before turning to leave. I am stopped short by the very angry black eyed vampire blocking the doorway.

"Where the fuck do you think you are going Isabella?"

* * *

><p><strong>AN 2: holy long chapter batman. This one kinda took on a mind of its own, it deviated completely from the outline I had planned, which means I am going to have to go and adjust some later outlines as well, but alas it cannot be helped, these guys seemed to have a story to tell and it didn't exactly line up with what I had planned.**

**I know I changed Rose's story, but I thought this way didn't hit way too close to home for Bella later.**

**Would love to hear your thoughts.**


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